Who I'm supposed to Be

So Christmas break was crazy and now I am back at school. I live in a dorm and I have a lot of friends that have given me nicknames ranging from grandma to zuzu. I think at this point in the world, in my culture, identity is a very important thing. I don't know if it is that way in other places, but even at my school people focus on identity way too much. First and foremost, I find my identity in Christ. I was thinking about the names that people call me and I was writing in my prayer journal and this is what I cam up with. It is not very polished or anything but I think you will get the point. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions on my blog or anything you want me to talk about. I am super tired and i have to get up in 4 hours, so if this paragraph didn't make sense I'm sorry. And I apologize for the fact that I am too tired and lazy to add punctuation at this point in my life.

All these people telling me who I should be
Telling me who I remind them of
And how I should live my life

After talking to people all day long
I sit in my room all alone
Wondering who I am and who I should be
Wondering how to live this life that was given to me

I look at the girl that I have suddenly become
And I wonder what in the world went wrong
This is not how things were supposed to be

The world and my friends have given me different names
Names that are supposed to identify who I am
I don't know if I want to agree
With the names they have given me and the comparisons they have made

I come to the realization that I have no clue what I am doing
I have no idea where I am going
And I wonder what I was thinking

So humbly I wonder what I was thinking
Trying to control my life
Trying to make everything right
Now my pride is shrinking

Man I gotta go to God for everything I do
I gotta live for Him and Him alone
Cuz I got no clue what i'm doing on my own

I gotta give Him time to teach me what's right
Teach me how to live every moment for his glory
And teach me how to love God and all those people in my life
I need God to change my life daily, wholly, and completely

Oops I messed up again
I tried to change everything on my own
God, give me hand, I want to live for You alone

I want to live and love the way God would
I want to bring Him the glory He deserves
I want to spread His love all throughout the world
Whenever and However He chose for me even before I was born

Lord, I don't deserve to know Your name
I know I deserve to die as I hang my head in shame
Somehow Your grace still shines through and sheds its light on me.

I have no clue what You are doing
Or why You picked me
But as I bow humbly at Your feet
I pray that you will choose to teach me, change me, and use me.

peace out,
zoe