Goodbyes and Hellos

Saying goodbye isn't easy. Knowing that you will never see people that you have learned to love is one of the hardest things in the world. Leaving a place that you have fallen in love with, a place that you call home is a very difficult thing. The final days with friends bring many memories and a lot of laughter, yet you hate every second of it because you know that you will soon be apart; you know that the next time you see these people everything will have changed. As I step onto an airplane tomorrow, leaving the place and the people that I love most behind, I will have many mixed emotions. I will feel broken and sad inside, I will be full of regrets and heartache, and I will be excited and nervous to start this new adventure. As I turn the next page in the novel of my life, I don't know whether it is the beginning of the next chapter or if it is the beginning of the book, all I know is that the next page is completely empty and that completely terrifies me. I am super excited for what is to come, but I will dreadfully miss the life that I have. Once again everything is changing. Things change everyday, so when you are going to be gone for ten months, everything will be drastically different. Things will never be the way that I remember them. Most people fear change. Most people think that it is the most awful thing in the world. Yet, somehow change is normally for the better. Change makes people grow, change makes people think. Change brings new life and new experiences. I know that the changes that will take place will be good, I know that they will make me and my friends better people, yet I still regret it. I can't stand the fact that I will miss this vital time of my friends' life. I hate the fact that I won't be there for them when they need be, I will be 2,000 miles away, and that sucks. I wish things were different, but I know this needs to happen. So, as I say goodbye to the world as I know it, I say hello to the new adventures that God has written for me. I can't wait to see what is in my future. I can't wait to see where he takes me, what will happen, what I'll do. Mathew 6 reminds us not to worry about tomorrow, but that is so hard to do. I don't even know if I could say that I am worried, I guess I am just frustrated. I am frustrated that I don't know what's going to happen, so I can't prepare for it. I am frustrated of the things that I will miss in other people's lives, the things that they will miss in my life. I wish I could be in two places at once. That would make my life a whole lot easier. But I can't...so...oh well. As I take this illogical step of faith that I really don't want to take, I will trust God completely. I will live every moment in the moment, not worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. I will never look back, I will keep my eyes focused on Christ and walk towards him in faith. If I look down at the path I am traveling on I will freak out and fall off the edge. If I keep my eyes focused on Christ, I will be fine, he will help me through.

I am reminded of the story of Peter walking on the water (found in Mathew 14). He stepped out in faith, a step that none of the other disciples were willing to take. The step that he took in faith worked out pretty well for him. He took three steps. Then he got distracted. Then, he took his eyes off Christ, he realized what he was doing, he looked down at the path and freaked out. Once he looked down, he started to sink. The minute his eyes left the face of Jesus everything started to sink. That happens all the time to me. I am learning and growing and following God and stepping out in faith, then all of the sudden I realize what I am doing and I freak out. The things that I can accomplish through Christ are so amazing, with God I can do everything. If we are listening to God and stepping out in faith then he can do some pretty crazy things. The unique things that God helps me do, the ones that aren't supposed to be possible, the illogical ones, the things that don't make sense, they are from God, if you can do the things that you thought were impossible then you are traveling down the right path and you have stepped out in faith. All I ask is that you make sure to stay focused, and don't look down.